Pray for Japan: How To Survive Earthquakes

These are the words of an email forward regarding Doug Copp, Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI).

Before/after images of the Japanese Tsunami are from NYTimes.com.

Say a prayer for Japan.

Thanks, Jonathan

>>> forwarded message >>>

It seems like a good time to review this information – Pass it on!

Simple advice for surviving earthquakes.

Forget everything you've been trained to do during an earthquake!!!
Boy! Is this ever an eye opener. Directly opposite of what we've been taught over the years! I can remember in school being told to, "duck and cover" [deadly!] or stand in a doorway [deadly!] during an earthquake. This guy's findings are absolutely amazing. I hope we all remember his survival method if we are ever in an earthquake!!!



EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: "TRIANGLE OF LIFE"

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries...

I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. I have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.



The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't at the time know that the children were told to hide under something.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the "triangle of life".

The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the "triangles" you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.



TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

1) Most everyone who simply "ducks and covers" WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake... It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.



3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.



5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.

6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!



7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different "moment of frequency" (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.



9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway... The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.
Spread the word and save someone's life... The Entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared!



"We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly"

In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul, University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did "duck and cover," and ten mannequins I used in my “triangle of life" survival method.

After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions, relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for those doing duck and cover.

There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the "triangle of life." This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe, and it was seen in the USA, Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV.

Sacred Passage 2010 - Flinders Island, Tasmania

I. Describing the Indescribable
II. The Life of John P. Milton, Creator of Sacred Passage and The Way of Nature
III. A Valiant Beginning to a Lifetime of Teaching
IV. Who Am I?
V. Your Call to Action, Leader of the Future World




I. Describing the Indescribable


What would happen if you camped on a solo site for five nights, nourishing your body on a liquid diet while undertaking a strict regimen of guided meditation and Qi Gong to forge a deeper connection to nature and all the interconnected forms of life?

Dig into your most profound memory of being human and bear with me.

It’s hard to condense 100 hours of profound experience in one blog entry. After attending Sacred Passage with John P. Milton on the recommendation of the Founder of Ensemble Partners, our CEO and five others including myself are left somewhere between navigating life as usual and dissolving completely into the ultimate sustainability of becoming one with nature.

If one man has become one with nature, a thousand years says Milton comes close.

No matter how many pictures I could take or videos I could record, nothing would begin to clearly articulate the whole picture. Because of Who I Am (explain of Caps later), I will share some drawings made during the experience to send you on your travels for the remaining four sub-headings.




II. The Life of John P. Milton, Creator of Sacred Passage and The Way of Nature


What’s the most engrossing film you’ve ever seen?

Remember it... Think about it... Relive that feeling of being completely engrossed...

Somewhere between Star Wars, Seven Years in Tibet, and Batman Begins lies the life of John P. Milton. The summary of John’s life goes from studying Zen Meditation in the 1950’s to becoming the first Ecologist at the White House under Nixon; from studying with Taoist Masters on Wudang Mountain in China to spending years with Buddhist Masters in the remote hilltops of Tibet.

There’s no way to summarise when just two in the list include following the Taoist lineage of Chang San Feng from the 13th Century and studying Vepassana meditation with the now deceased S.N. Goenka in Nepal, whose recorded voice remains the sole guide for all Vepassana meditations worldwide.

It’s better that I let John speak for himself, down to the details.

The following excerpt is taken from an interview with John P. Milton by Carla Brennan:

“Since the late 1950's, I have been honoured to work with fine teachers in Taoism and T'ai Chi, Buddhism, Dzogchen, Vedanta and both Hindu and Buddhist Tantra:

In 1958 I had my first teacher of meditative Qi Gong for spiritual cultivation; that opened an ever-deepening form of Taoist practice which I have continued with ever since. Then, in the late 1960's I was first exposed to T'ai Chi Ch'uan and immediately fell in love with that system of spiritual and energetic cultivation. From 1973 through 1980 I studied Cheng's Yang family style T'ai Chi - predominantly with Robert Smith and Ben Pang Jeng Lo - but also with Maggie Newman, Tam Gibbs and others. I also studied Qi Gong and Taoist yoga with Sifu Fong Ha, Mantak Chia and other Taoist teachers.

I have taught these systems since 1979.

In 1958, I also began practicing Zen meditation with Ed Maupin as his teacher. For many years, I practiced classical soto style zazen meditation between four and eight hours a day and Zazen continues until today as a core practice for me. Later on in the 1960's, I also became a serious student of the teachings of Taoism, Tibetan Buddhism and both Hindu and Buddhist Tantra. In the 1970's, I was deeply influenced by the blessings of shaktipat and Siddha Yoga with Swami Muktananda. As a result of all this spiritual cultivation, my first major experience of the arising of Kundalini Shakti and the opening of central channel came in the mid 1970's.

Also starting in the late 1960's and through the 1970's until now, I have been fortunate and very blessed to have many fine teachers from several Tibetan lineages, particularly Sogyal Rinpoche, His Holiness Dilgo Khentze Rinpoche, H.H. the Karmapa, H.H. the Dalai Lama, Lama Tharchin, Lopon Tenzin Namdak, Geshe Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche and many other wonderful Lamas. In particular, the blessings of opening and deepening Dzogchen contemplation have been at the heart of my personal cultivation.

From the late 1960's on until now, I have been very active in helping protect Himalayan forests and in setting up wildlife reserves and national parks in Nepal and Bhutan. I often hired large numbers of Tibetan refugees to help me in survey and parks work in the Himalaya Mountains along the Tibetan frontier. All this has given me some extraordinary opportunities to study and practice with Himalayan masters on their home ground and often in a very traditional way, with few or no other westerners around.

I was also fortunate to study Vipassana meditation with S.N. Goenka and his wife in Nepal. Another major teacher for me has been the great tantrika, and devotee of the Divine Feminine, Vasudev of India and Nepal. Over a number of years I was blessed with being able to study with him in mountain caves, at Nepal's great temple to Shiva as the God of All Nature, Pashupatinath, and in the cremation grounds of Nepal and Varanasi (Benares). His teachings, transmissions and direct initiation into the Sacred View have been an incredible blessing to my life and my ability to serve my students.”




III. A Valiant Beginning to a Lifetime of Teaching


Have you ever used a metaphor from nature to describe your life experience? In any deeply rooted conversation about what just feels right, there is an example of it in nature. From animals who mate for life to the industriousness of an ant colony, nature offers something for everyone to understand the world we have shared for thousands of years.

By Day 3 I began to feel accepted by Gaia on her own terms. On Day 4 I had a profound shift as I climbed to the top of Mt. Strzelecki. The three hour hike to the summit involved the buzzing of flies that would often drive a human into a fit. By the time I performed the 11 Direction Ceremony looking out over the Bass Strait, I came to feel at one between Sky and Earth and joined the flies buzzing around me as electrons in the the atomic connection shared between everything in the universe. The flies were my buddies, along for the energetic ride we all call life.

The profound responsibility that comes with the thoughts I’m having is not lost on me. Looking out over all of Flinders and the surrounding Tasmanian Islands realise what it will take to protect this island development from a population of 700 into the future of what’s to come. I believe this can be a place of Zero Impact similar to the plans for Masdar in Abu Dabi. It’s in alignment with the preservation of Tasmanian wilderness and what’s reasonable and possible in the current paradigm shift in global consciousness.




IV. Who Am I?


(Not to be confused with “Who Am I Now?”, a puberty video my brother will recall...)

I want to share one thing that happens when an updated contract is signed with Mother Nature, being accepted by Gaia on her terms. The name I sign with exudes a deeper understanding of Who I Am. As one of many teachings in Milton’s Sky Above, Earth Below, the “Who Am I” exercise borrowed from the Hindu Master Ramana Maharshi reminds us that we are not any of the trappings that normally form our identity. This profound realisation stops us then to ask, “Who Am I?”, and come up with a meaningful answer that transcends space and time.

The best I can come up with is that I Am The Happy Wandering Artist. I’m on the verge of adding Heterosexual, but nature takes care of that for me. Just as nature takes care of Homosexuals, I might add. It’s no surprise that Penguins can change their sexual orientation from breeders to non-breeders when their population balloons out of control. Almost 7 Billion humans are forever in gratitude to you Non-Breeders out there. But I digress.

Perhaps in a past life, (you know me, Egon Schiele) and in the current life, I am a filter for the human experience constantly on the move. This return to the deepest understanding of myself I’ve had in a decade reminds me of not only Who I Am, but also the weaknesses that come with it. As John so lovingly pointed out when I received his council on my return to buildings and humans:

It is the constant addiction to my own entertainment that drives me. This is a life out of balance when I realise after three days of being confined to peaceful meditation that I can’t sit still for that long and break out to climb a mountain. Nature requires an inner peace in all of us. The need for constant stimulation must be balanced with the personal mastery of meditating for hours and connecting to Deep Source.

I have a lot of work to do on that. I’ll let you know how I go.




V. Your Call to Action, Leader of the Future World


I first saw Milton speak at a Wake Up! Sydney event hosted by the resourceful Jono Fisher in 2009. Little did I know at the time that my future employer Ensemble Partners had brought John to Australia to form The Way of Nature Australia, an Oceanic subsidiary of his institute in Boulder, Colorado, which led in turn to Sacred Passage on Flinders Island.

The take-away from his 2009 speech before a sold-out audience was the vision of what would happen if all the world’s leaders, CEOs, and top thinkers decided to spend at least three days immersed in nature, focused in deep meditation guided by the past thousand years of enlightened human experience.

It was a profound vision of the future then, and it remains profound now.

I urge you, Leader of the Future World, to go out into nature for as long as you can until you begin to feel that Gaia accepts you on her terms. When the world understands you with a Universal common denominator, you will start to understand yourself in ways I am only beginning to see in me.

When you get back, give me a call. Learning from each other, it will start to make sense.

Donald Duck Meets Glenn Beck in Right Wing Radio Duck

This video was on my friend's facebook page and I think it is pure brilliance. Goes to show that Disney had his finger on the pulse of a timeless sense of what matters to Americans and that video editors alive and well today harness the pure genius to match Disney's foresight with the comical rantings of one of Fox News biggest cartoons, Glen Beck.

Nice work RebelliousPixels! Hat's off ;)

What Teachers Make

This post offers the following:

1. My heart gushing appreciation for Teachers
2. An email forward worth posting (how often does that happen?)
3. An inevitable call to action



1. My heart gusheth over

I've never been a teacher. I have all the respect in the world for teachers and hope to be more like them. My mother has been a teacher all of her adult life. Even while she was a full-time mother taking care of my brother and sister and me, she taught us half of everything outside the classroom. Thanks to my Mom, who also sent me this forward. I love you!


2. What Teachers Make (I hear that credit is due to Brad Wolf for the following. Thanks!)

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

To stress his point he said to another guest;
"You're a teacher, Bonnie . Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make? (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table):

I make kids wonder. I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read and read some more.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America .

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

What do you make Mr. CEO?
His jaw dropped; he went silent.



3. Don't just sit there, sit there and click that little mousey!

Send this to every teacher, every CEO, every person you know. Even all your personal teachers like mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, coaches and your spiritual leaders/teachers.

Thanks to the big Coach in the sky. Put me in there, Coach!

Australian Elections and USA on AUS

In my ritual of reading The New York Times, I was charmed to find my current home finally made the headlines. The frontpage story addresses last night's cliffhanger in the Australian Federal Government Election.

http://nyti.ms/bKHQvt

Seeing Australia in the morning news triggered a reaction from me I wasn't expecting. In addition to my personal perspective on the election itself, I'm prompted to share more about Australia's general newsworthiness.

In the following few paragraphs, then, dear reader, I will cover the following three topics:

1. Australia's 2010 Federal Government Election
2. The United States 2000 Presidential Election
3. Promotion of Australia in the US and abroad



1. Last night I was pleased to attend an election party thrown by my dear friends a generation ahead, also known as my girlfriend's parents. In their living room, the big screen TV showed the results of Labour (government) and the Coalition (opposition) in a dead heat for the seats in Parliament necessary to win the election.

The focus was primarily on the House of Representatives, (the lower house) as the members of the lower house determine the party of the Prime Minister, while the Senate (the upper house) determine, by majority, which party has an easier time getting bills through parliament. The NYT article mentions the official tally still in the low 60's on either side, while the final number of seats will reach into the 70's once all mail-in votes are counted and the Independent and Green parties reach their final numbers.

Julia Gillard represents the Labour Party after her party ousted Kevin Rudd, and Tony Abbott represents The Liberal Party. If your paying attention and less familiar with Australian politics, you may ask, "What about the Coalition?" as I did, spoiled as an American with the simplicity of a two-party duopoly between Republicans and Democrats, or Democrats and Republicans the way I see it. We share Independents and Greens as well, however Australia gives greater weight to their third parties than the United States.

The Coalition, dear reader, is made up of the Liberals and the Nationals, who pooled their votes together for the first time between the Labour leadership of Bob Hawke and the Liberal leadership of John Howard. The Nationals serve rural districts in the northeastern inland regions of Australia while the Liberals populate the metro areas 'right across Australia' to use the local parlance.



2. The uncertainty of the results reminds me of the US 2000 Presidential Election between Al Gore and George W. Bush. As an outsider looking in I'm not sure exactly how Australians feel about the 'hung parliament'. I can express, however, how distraught I was in 2000. Not only was the result less satisfying, but it actually seemed to threaten the system of democracy that keeps hopeful progressives like me sane, focused on the potential of honest and continuous improvement.

I have no doubt in Australia that the result delivered will be more honest and upstanding than the shame Jeb Bush in Florida shed upon the United States and all democracies 'right around this planet' when the dangling chads were used to cover up what I believe was the worst offense to US Government since the ratification of the sixteenth amendment in the early 1900's.

The US 2000 Election I feel was unlawfully stolen, as is the individual federal income tax collected from US tax payers every year, ratified in the 16th amendment when the Robber Barons, in the middle of the night, pushed it through Congress while the majority of elected US politicians were on recess.

The year 2000 was only the beginning for what I endured as the longest eight years of political shame I think any Americans like me could have imagined. No protest in Washington or anywhere else I rallied in the streets could have prevented the rape of democracy I remember.

As the US officially, and quietly, removes combat troops from Iraq next week, I can only hope that all's well that ends well. Thank God for Barack Obama and the integrity he has restored to the White House, the United States, and to democracies around the world.

My thoughts and prayers are with Australia to come to a fair and upstanding election result, free of the incestuous theft of the Bush dynasty. I love both countries, and want only the best for both moving forward.



3. Which brings me to how it felt reading a rare article about Australia in the New York Times: Why stop now? I witness daily in this country news that's fit to print. In fact Australia is in the future of the United States, not only in time zones but in the technology in practice, both social and technical.

While some leaders in the United States boast our country is a beacon of freedom and democracy, I question their judgement. Given the social errors of preventing a Muslim community center in Manhattan and all the bigotry I am altogether too aware of, Australia has a lot to teach those in the US. The Land Down Under matches the international melting pot of New York on a national scale, with levels of tolerance generally higher than the US average.

Let me end on a technical note of newsworthy progress. To all politicians in both the United States and Australia, I offer your destiny to fulfill all the promises you make. Everything we need can be delivered with the advent of renewable energy and the supporting technologies it brings.



To frame that statement I'll close with the five pillars of democracy I refer to as "Effigy", or EEFGHI:

Education
Environment
Foreign Policy
Government
Health care
Information freedom

Educate people about the Environment and they will embrace renewable energy. Leverage global sources of technology with a tolerant Foreign policy that allows Governments to work together towards a carbon neutral reality.

If people needn't fear their access to Health care and can work more effectively, the freedom of Information on the Internet and elsewhere can be leveraged by all individuals motivated on a path global peace and sustainability.

Despite Presidential races and the divide of political parties, we are all in the same human race and I want it to feel like one big party. So I urge you, dear reader, to embrace the unity between the United States and Australia.

I feel the most tangible way to create opportunity in this mindset is to promote renewable energy using Australian photovoltaic technology with implementation in the United States. Please comment and we'll keep the conversation moving in the right direction.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Sydney

First of Many Mobile Updates

Let it be known that the fun in the surgery theatre was short-lived. As much as I enjoyed meeting the doctors and nurses in the initial experience, I must close the chapter of skin-cancer surgery on a sober note.

In retrospect the $400 I payed to the anesthetist lasted about four hours, after which I began the most painful and humbling experience of my life.

If you've ever undertaken an MBA course you will know it can already be a painful and humbling experience in and of itself, so this seemed like insult to injury.





The surgery got infected and by Friday I ended up spending three nights in hospital on an intravenous antibiotic. I was released in time for Services Marketing class on Monday morning at AGSM.




The humbling experience of the MBA now seemed less humbling in comparison, and I completed the degree under the cover of many hats, protecting my tender skin from the harsh Australian sun.

The final hat of the MBA was the ubiquitous mortar cap with tassel (rented at a premium of $150 for 3 hours in Australia as opposed to purchased for considerably less in the States).

This hat's matching gown was a great improvement over the backless hospital gown, and I feel my life will continue with subsequent improvements.

I feel lucky to be alive and cancer free, and happy to be working and living in Australia, hat permanently in place! More information to come on where I've hung my hat.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sex, Drugs, and Money: Fun in the Surgery Theatre

From the sexy voice of Tracey Thorn to Twilight Anesthesia and finally the attractive price of Australian Health Care, this story will fuel your health care controversy for the week. The stars of this show will remain anonymous. Their names have been changed but the situation is real. Real FUN!

My anesthetist, we'll call him Dr. Feelgood, my surgeon, Dr. Rasta, and his assistant, Dr. Zissou, all made my one-hour sun-spot removal a barrel of laughs and a moment in time that I didn't want to end. It might be the drugs talking, but I think I'm a good judge of character and I imagine I will be hanging out with these cats again.

To make this story really interesting I should start at the beginning, and move quickly - stick with me! I developed a sun-spot on my forehead that needed to be removed. A kind young Fox pointed me in the direction of a dermatologist, who appointed me with Dr. Rasta.



There was a snaffoo with my appointment the day before the operation. The surgeon's office canceled due to lack of approval from my insurance. Only in Australia will the doctor's office cancel your appointment! I confirmed that I would pay first and file for reimbursement later (past history shows I'll get close to 50% back) and the appointment was on, no doubt.

I got a plastic bracelet with my name, a backless gown (racy!), and, again, only in Australia, a white fluffy robe and slippers! I've never seen fluffy robes and slippers in US hospitals, have you? I boarded my gurney, (trolley if you're Commonwealth), and my Irish orderly drove me around to the staging area of the surgery theatre.

There I met Dr. Feelgood. Like the most benevolent of dictators, Dr. Feelgood informed me that his services would lie outside of the $2,000+ for the hospital fees and $2,000+ for Dr. Rasta. For a bargain price of $300 or so I would be drugged up to a projected level of satisfaction. It's one of my life's best investments!

Dr. Feelgood wheeled my Healthcare Chariot to Dr. Rasta's operating theatre while the initial drugs took their effect. Wondering if the drugs induced aural hallucinations, I asked Dr. Rasta, "Do I hear Reggae?"



"Yes", replied Dr. Rasta. "We are listening to Reggae." He added a little chuckle, like I didn't get an inside joke. The conversations continued over my head while they covered my eyes as nurses crowded in and conversations engaged to set up the operation.

"How many people are around me right now?" I was wondering if Twilight Anesthetics tripled my three people into nine.

"Seven" responded a British voice that I didn't recognise. "There are seven people taking care of you."

Good to know. "Lucky number", I added. "Who said that?" I knew Dr. Rasta from the consultation weeks earlier, but who was this Bloody Pom? :)

"Dr. Zissou." His name wasn't really Dr. Zissou, but you'll see why it fits.

"Dr. Zissou is my assistant" quipped Dr. Rasta, sharpening his scalpel to my left.



They met my curiosity with some questions of their own, and soon their questions became more pointed. "So what do you want to do with the MBA?"

"Make boatloads of money." I waited a few seconds to see their reaction. "I'm not really in it for the money. I'm all about the triple bottom line of Financial, Social, and Environmental Responsibility." They were waiting for me to impress them. "The end game is to be able to fund my second film." Is that good enough?

"Tell me about your first film". I've gotta be on drugs to think talking about myself is so interesting, and I take the bait, telling them about Louvst and the visual allegory of Love, Lust, Lose, and Lost. "Who is your favourite filmmaker?" I mention Wes Anderson and start giggling about The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.



"What's your favourite film, Doc?" I was happy to duck out of the limelight and focus on whether or not I could actually feel the carving going on with my forehead. I couldn't feel a thing.

"The Life Aquatic was pretty good. It's my favourite!" Dr. Zissou was a true explorer into the Austin Avante Garde! You've snagged another fan, Wes Anderson ;)

As our conversation flowed effortlessly, the tugging on my face came to an end, and Dr. Zissou stepped up to the plate. "Can you hand me that magical spray can?" Relieved that he was talking to the nurse, I had to ask.



"Did you say magical spray can?" Where WAS I? What the harumpf is a magic spraycan? As it turns out they were preparing my bandage...

Dr. Zissou was downright cheeky, "There might as well be magic in this little can. It'll make the sticky tape we're putting on your face even stickier!" He wasn't kidding. It's still there now as I type to you, faithful reader.

The party was starting to break up, and the music transitioned to the familiar, soothing sound of Tracey Thorn. "Is that Everything But the Girl?", I asked. Dr. Rasta laughed affirmatively from across the room.



What is this place where I've consumed Narcotics, Reggae, Film, and Tracey Thorn? I wanted to invite them all to dinner. I'm saving that for the follow-up consultation next week.

"This is the infamous iPod mix of Dr. Rasta." Dr. Zissou beamed with pride, as though he were defending a title.

I should have asked practical questions like 'How many stitches did I get?' or 'Will I get more pain killers?', but instead I left the theatre on my back, the four wheels of my gurney being guided by the doctors' rastafarians, and, like St. Nic's "...and to all a good night", declared "Your taste in music's all right!".

I was taken to a nice little chill out area, given some munchies, and, like a geisha at the end of entertaining, obligated to return my clothing and make myself presentable for the next encounter. A kind yet resistant Irish lass, we'll call her Lassie, refused me pain killers but jovially arranged my follow-up visit.



Over the next hour my Twilight waned in reverse, back into the unforgiving Australian Sun. I headed straight for the insurance office, hoping for whatever sympathy I can get with my oversized bandage. When it comes to getting paid back by an industry who cheats the sick for profit, everything counts.

Since a delivery by the Mother of Fox, I've been eating Codeine like SweetTarts and wondering why Australian health care has to be so hard core!? No pain killers? Who are these blokes? Well if one thing can be said of Australians, they are certainly fun. I enjoyed the procedure. The pain afterwards is another story. Away from ignorant bliss and back to happy reality.

With my new friends Dr. Feelgood, Dr. Rasta, and Dr. Zissou I learned three important lessons. Don't let life's pains get you down, avoid stress with some relaxing music, and, when given the opportunity, explore a new friendship with someone who could have otherwise remained anonymous.


the author, pictured with a hole in his head